How to Decrease Anxiety In Relationships

 How To Decrease Anxiety In Your Relationships   By Lori English

  Are you starting to date someone new and feeling anxious  because of a past breakup you had? 

Do you question your worthiness and keep comparing your old relationships to this new one?

 We all struggled one time or another with dating and anxiety in a relationship, but the good news is there are tips that can help us move forward in our relationships. 

Do you struggle with communication and feel anxious with your expressing your feelings in your relationship? If you do there are ways to communicate with your-partner that can make a big difference.

Here are some concrete tips that can help you decrease anxiety and increase communication in your relationship.

Anxiety In Relationships

 In relationship anxiety in a relationship can appear as if you are coming on too strong to another person but you really aren't you may be anxious in the relationship and want to " Do the right Thing". It's important when you enter a romantic relationship that knowing who you are is the first step, so when you experience anxiety you can step back and examine without compromising yourself. 

Having anxiety in a relationship begins by doubting yourself, thinking you are too much for someone, or actually they are not the right one for you. 

Communication is important in the early stages of a relationship when you're getting acquainted. Setting the tone in the beginning of the relationship can help nurture the process down the line.

Relationships take work they are forever changing and need to be nurtured daily. Maintaining  a relationship healthy is about honest and open communication. 

 Anxiety With Your Partner

Some of the anxious thoughts you have a really quite normal for anyone who is in a new relationship. Getting to know someone and their habits and their moods is a process and gets easier with time.

Questions You might Be thinking that cause Anxiety.

1. What if Im not good enough?

2. Why doesn't she text me back?

3. Is he/she really interested in me?

4. Am I too needy? 

5. Will this work and Am I being genuine?

6. Am I Meeting His/her needs.

In any relationship questions are very normal and expected. Asking questions and communicating is important than keeping your thoughts and emotional responses bottled up. 

Relationships in general are messy but being able to communciate clearly with your partner and being honest 

Keeping your partner aware of your feelings and what you need is your responsibility to tell them, you can't expect them to guess  why communicating is very important in having a healthy relationship,

An article wirtten By " Elite Daily " puts the spin on how Anxiety is in a relationship and gives great suggestions in this article on dating someone with Anxiety. . https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/dating-someone-with-anxiety/907721

Fear Of  Becoming Vulnerable

Vulnerability is a big part of having a healthy, translucent, honest relationship and being and who says it better than Brene Brown', in her book"Daring Greatly". Dr. Brown talks about vunerability as  " It is Not The Critic That Counts, Not the man who is Stronger, or the Doer of Deeds that could have Done it Better. 


Fear of becoming close to someone and sharing your life and being vunerable is normal when you first meet someone unitl you feel comfortable and can trust them.

Keeping focused and being in the presnt moment can help decrease anxiety on both sides of the relationship.

Communication is the key to most relationships and being open and honest is the best wy to keep the lines of communication open. 

 Make sure you actively listen by not answering or interrupting but waiting for him/her to finish their thought. 

Be supportive towards your partner. Listen. 

How Does Relationship Anxiety Affect Us?

As we look into our past, our psychological defenses and our critical voice shapes who we are today in our present relationship. All of the these factors play a significant role in the way we communicate and act with our partner.

Clingy- When you are feeling threaten in a relationship or anxious some people become clingy and  act desperate towards their partner. They were strong in the beginning of the relationship, but begin to lose the their independent attitude and begin to choose to only do things with their partner and stopped hanging out with friends. 

Control-If you find yourself feeling threatened in anyway in the relationship is to try to control your partner. You are actually trying to alleviate your anxiety by knowing where they are and what they are doing. You might have a fear of them leaving or cheating on you. 

Reject-If we feel worried about the relationship a defense mechanism is aloofness. Being aloof means not really caring or acting like you are interested. This is a form of rejection 

Withhold- We might of had got closer in the last week or two and felt good, but as time went by anxiety starts to creep in and we start to withhold could be something small. As of withholding I mean information or not telling the whole story, we become increasingly secretive and play it off as " I just forget to tell you".


Healthy Relationships

Having a healthy relationship takes time and patience. Having anxiety in a relationship can make a person feel overwhelmed and start to doubt if they are capable of having a healthy relationship.doubt their intentions anxiety in your relationship it is harder sometime becauae you are constantly have to reassure that person. 

If you feel in love with somewhat has anxiety you would want to help that person and be a stable force for you to work together.

Its very possible to have a healthy relationship with someone who has anxiety. There are many ways to approach someone that has anxiety, but being able to understand that sometimes listening to your partner is all he/she needs.

When you learn how to communicate with someone and become vulnerable with this person you can work through anything together if you put your heart into it.

 You deserve the best life possible and feeling loved in a relationship. If youfind you ae still struggling with your relationship issues counseling is a way that can help you ways to combat anxiety in your life. 





I am a Social Worker who works to help others improve their Anxiety And depression. I work with many people and use many techniques that are combined with practical tips to decrease anxiety and increase self -esteem.

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