Anxiety Steals Your Joy Out of Relationships

Lori’s Little Lessons/Anxiety/Relationships

How Anxiety Steals Joy Out Of Your Relationship  Lori English

    Most intimate relationships have ups and down, but when it comes to anxiety this is another type of issue that can ruin a relationship if not addressed properly. If you are like most adults who fall in love with someone and the relationship is great in the beginning. There are specific skills which can help your relationship become healthier and reduce anxiety.


How Anxiety Affects You

Anxiety affects can affect you in many ways . If you are worrying all the time about a specific area in your lif affects how you deal with people and the decisions you make.  

Anxiety Affects the Relationship Directly

Clingy- if you feel anxious many people may become clingy and want their spouse other around  but some people do not want this in a relationship . It’s important to talk in the beginning of a relationship and make sure to be specific about your needs and wants.

Control- If you feel threatened most of the time you reach for a sense of control.

WithholdAnother way that Anxiety can affect your relationship is by withholding or getting too close. When you are becoming intimate you pull back and withdrawal from your partner.

Punish- Sometimes, our response to anxiety can be to punish the other person in the relationship, by giving them the cold shoulder. You hear someone say I haven’t spoke to my partner in three days.These are some of the actions that people take who are not communicating freely.


What Thoughts  Exacerbate Relationship Anxiety?

  1. People just wind up getting hurt could be used if you want to tell your partner something that is hurting you or you want to discuss and you are thinking that it might hurt them you will be anxious.
  2. If you are replaying negative thoughts in you your head such as; ex, this relationship will never work out, the last one I was in didn’t last. 
  3. You may have beliefs that you heard and believe men are insensitive, unreliably, and selfish. If you have this type of thinking can affect your relationship entirely.
  4. Another thought process  He/she is cheating on me. I am not worthy of someone loving me. 
  5. If your thoughts are negative and they are from the past and not worked on this can affect the present relationship.

Relationships and tips

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 Here are some specific ways to overcome anxiety in a relationship and help your partner help themselves. You cannot do this for them. but being supportive is very important for their healing. Having anxiety for some is ongoing and doesn’t go away overnight but learning ways to cope and decrease your anxiety can improve the outcome of the relationship. 


 “Five Causes and Five Solutions For Anxiety Survival,” written by the Calm Clinic exemplifies how a relationship shows the steps and how you can use them to work on anxiety and communication in your relationships.


Five Practical Relationships Tips

       If you feel Anxiety it can definitely affect the relationship as a whole.

  1. Explore your needs together and communication is key to healthy relationships.
  2. Make a List of what you want from your significant other and what he/she wants and discuss it. 
  3. If anxiety is an issue talking and reassuring can  can help but using ” Mindfulness” is said to help people that have anxiety according to Jon Kabot -Zinn, the first physician who used mindfulness in his practice.
  4. If their significant other isn’t around are they cheating? If you are afraid and you are not confident in the relationship this can cause doubt and trust issues.
  5. Take time to listen to listen with intent and let the other person know that you are listening and attentive.
  6. If you make a list and delegate tasks in the relationship this might help decrease some of the household duties if you both are working together.

 How to Overcome Anxiety In Your Relationship

There are many ways to overcome anxiety in a relationship let’s start with open communication is a big one. In your relationship communication is one of the biggest tasks you can do everyday to improve and keep your relationship open.

 If you are afraid to express yourself to this person you may need to evaluate if this person is right for you.

If trust is an issue then working together on a plan that allows each other to be able to gain or get trust back . It is difficult when trust is broken, but if you are willing to forgive your partner and work together relationships can be worked on and improved. 

Working towards a solution can be very empowering and bring you closer to your loved one. Having anxiety and being in a relationship is not the end if you are willing to work together there are many tips that can assist in a relationship. 


I am a Social Worker who works to help others improve their Anxiety And depression. I work with many people and use many techniques that are combined with practical tips to decrease anxiety and increase self -esteem.

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