How Can Disappointment Encourage Resilience? By Lori English
Emotions and being disappointed is part of everyday life, we all have been disappointed. In everyday life we face challenges and sometimes we can become disappointed.
If you are alive and breathing you must of had at least one disappointment in your lifetime. It can make you feel like your world is coming to an end, however there are many ways to feel your disappointment and even learn from it.
If you are counting on going out with your friends to see a broadway play and something abruptly comes up and your friends cannot go, this can make you feel very disappointed.
If you are applying for a job and very excited you got the first interview. If all your hopes are into a job you applied for and you do not get it what happens to you ?
You can become sad and disappointed. It’s hard to hear the word no you weren’t accepted.
Realize there are a hundred other applicants besides yourself. You might be the most qualified, but their are other factors in the hiring process .
In the Book ” Theory And Practice Of Social Work” discussing disappointment the client speaks about a disappointments that parents have with their children and their parents . Parents have one of the hardest jobs in the world, but the most rewarding.
We all agree it’s not easy being a parent sometimes, however as parents and caregiver ” recognizing” what is best for our children is very important in healthy development. Knowing our children is extremely important because our best interests are for the child and his/her development and progress.
Parenting is difficult because we have to be able to distinguish what is our mind telling us that we want this for our children, We have to step back and say ” Would my child be happy doing a certain this?
Disappointment in children should be discussed in the developmental years to teach them that everyone becomes disappointed and explaining to them by using art, sand art, pictures, anything that can articulate to them that it is going to be fine.
Children have to learn that in life everything doesn’t go as planned and they will be fine. If they are not taught this and explained entitlement may be a factor.
Giving children the foundation of security can help them when they grow up into adults and are making difficult decisions. If children are not taught that there are disappointments in life it will be very difficult for them in relationships and other challenges.
Explaining and having patience is crucial for the adjustment of children and there are many parenting classes, planned parenthood, and contacting your local chapter of mental health.
We don’t live in the Past.
We may have been disappointed , but we can see that living in the past can really keep you stuck and complacent.
If the past is an issue that keeps coming up then a suggestion is to talk to a therapist or a close friend Keeping your feelings inside is not going to help you get over and start to heal.
Why do we hold On to the Past?
If the past not resolved in our head or we didn’t work it out so we can move on. Think about something that caused you a lot of pain to go through would you want to feel that again probably not.
Well, the reason is we have a defense mechanism in our body and brain that is protecting and the neural networks that we created are pathways that lead to the same results or thoughts we created.
The future is full of great new, exciting, ways to help our children learn new ways to understand and cope better. Times are advanced and as clinicians and mental health workers we are trained and experienced in daily life skills. nce to their happiness and ability to cope .
Disappointment is part of everyday life, but there are many ways to combat this and learn from it and becom resilient and stronger.