Self Compassion Flows Down The River Of Truth By Lori English
Compassion is a an emotion that can make you feel good as well as having a great understanding for someone else. Self compassion is letting go of the negative thoughts that circle around your head daily. If you can have self compassion for yourself you will likely have compassion for others as well.
What is Self -Compassion?
Self-Compassion is an emotion can have many opinions on what it really stands for.
When you think of having compassion for others what comes to your mind? Is it being nice to someone and helping them?
If you are someone that wants to help others and you have no agenda that means you just have a natural feeling that helping or volunteering is something that your heart wants to do for someone.
Have you ever experienced a deadly car accident and you see strangers jumping out of their cars to help others they never met before that is a form of being compassionate for another person. It can be big or small that can make a big impact on someone’s life.
Our mind is very stubborn and wants to revert back to old behavior that did not serve us.
Having a compassionate heart is such that it can make a person less vindictive.
Allow yourself to be open to others. Don’t be quick to make a snap judgement.
Do not play the blame game with others take responsibility for your part in a manner.
Respect your inner hero and you are more likely to have compassion for another, Your ego is not activated or judgement of another person it’s pure love for another human being.
Do for others without wanting anything in return, the heart of a compassionate person is not looking for praise or anytype of pat on the back.
In the practice of self compassion is is deeply rooted in a different type of of emotional response then self esteem. AccoNeff to Kristin Kneff, PH.D speaks candidly about how American’s can be self -centered and narcissistic.
Kneff describes thoughts we are always comparing ourselves to others which in fact is so harmful to our self -esteem. She explains that looking to others for self gratification or feeling good is not going to work in long haul, because you need to be the one giving yourself the self compassion daily.
People can’t believe how self compassion enhances you because if you fail at something you are more likely to try again if you are self compassionate A lot of people think that having the art of self compassion is weak, but it is the opposite you are allowing yourself to make mistakes and not emotionally beating yourself up which makes you more realise
Feeling compassion for others you are allowing your body and mind to be open to new experiences.
Using mindfulness as a practice of compassion is used in many clinical settings in mental health facilities are in used in many classrooms and educational facilities.
An example of having self- compassion for yourself would be if you are having a bad day at work and you made a mistake you could blame yourself all day and feel lousy or give yourself a break and say we all make mistakes next time I will get it right.
In order to experience compassion you have to experience the pain that someone has gone through or be able to relate to it on a deeper level. Having a sense of who we are and values that we have is important to the journey of self -compassion.
Tara Brach is another psyotherapist that experiences now with loving and compassion she explains how being kind to yourself and “free to flower” and she explains that we have friends that are loving and caring. Her teachings are excellent and how she describes that having self compassion is the most important one b
The importance of self -compassion cannot be stressed enough because of the root of how you feel about yourself is grounded in it. If you think that you are not worthy or feel bad when you are not doing the perfect work your expectations on yourself are very high. Judging yourself and being this rigid and feeling that everything has to be perfect will only lead you on a path to unhappiness.
The concept of woman and body image with the rise of eating disorders and how women and girls see themselves is an example how self compassion is not allowed. Today, commercialism and the concept of being thin is over rated and young girls are following societal norms that portray women as thin and tiny.
Self -compassion is used along with mindfulness in many eating disorder clinics along with teaching young girls to have self- compassion.
Mixed messages are given to women and young girls that they have to look a certain way or act a certain way to be accepted. Teach them self compassion and do not compare themselves to others they are special and unique the way they are.
It is very important to have a toolbox of coping mechanisms that can help us deal with life’s everyday stress . Teaching mindfulness and skills of self compassion in our classrooms can be just as important to teaching math classes. In school we are taught the basics and some other tools we will need to get a job, but the most important teaching can be to live and cope with everyday disappointments and struggles. Teaching our children new effective ways to fit through the hole with the square peg and come out the other side even better.